Earth Begins to Physically Melt Due to Global Warming
By: Jahames Bond on 1/15/2064
S cientists have confirmed that the Earth has officially begun to melt as a result of over 6.9 degrees Celsius of warming. The news, which comes as a stark reminder of the dire consequences of climate change, has prompted renewed calls for immediate and decisive action to address the crisis.
Speaking to reporters, lead scientist Dr. Jane Smith stated, “We've been warning you about this for more than 60 years. Yet, you morons won’t listen! Now the world looks like melted ice cream!” The issue was first noticed by astronauts on the ISS after a chunk of liquid Australia nearly collided with the spacecraft. At this point scientists are still unsure of where exactly the droplet is headed towards, but they expect to know within 24 hours.
In response to the melting, Climate Crisis deniers have now decided to get off of the internet to avoid losing arguments online. “They’re finally gone” stated Dr. Smith. “It has taken us too long as a species to accept the reality of global warming, and it is now too late. South America and Africa are 25% gone, Australia 50%, New Zealand turned out to not be real in the first place. We don’t know how bad this is going to get.” From here, we can only hope that our planet remains mostly intact.